This poem was written by a lady who’s baby was born at 29 weeks 5 days.  I believe she got to spend about 5 days at home her entire life.  She passed away at 9 months 1 week (this past January).  This poem is so very powerful about what it’s like to have a different life with a baby…. life with a TOGG (Trophy of God’s Grace) baby. I couldn’t have summed up our lives with ^Bun^ any better!

Being a Mother

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby.
That somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother “normal” is a matter of perspective.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.
That somebody never learned how to program a feeding pump.

Somebody said being a mother is boring. . .
That somebody never stood over their child and prayed they would make it through the night.

Somebody said if you’re a good mother your children will turn out good.
That somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said good mothers never raise their voices.
That somebody never yelled for their husband to, “quick run and get something to catch vomit in.”

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother.
That somebody never spent endless hours on the internet researching their child’s condition.

Somebody said you can’t love an unborn baby as much as you love one that you hold in your arms, that certain things were “meant to be.”
That somebody never lost a baby.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books.
That somebody never been handed a diagnosis for which no books have ever been written.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.
That somebody never watched her baby get wheeled into the O.R.

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.
That somebody never managed a med schedule, feeding schedule, nebulizer schedule, therapy and doctor schedule.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home.
That somebody never had children who may never leave home. And if they do leave home, be it a home on earth or to a home in heaven, that child will never stop being a part of a mother’s very being.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her.
That somebody isn’t a mother. And that person doesn’t know that a child can say volumes with their eyes or body language even if their lips never utter a single word.

To all the moms who do a little bit extra, I know you didn’t ask for this particular journey or expect it, but here you are, doing what has to be done. Thanks for lifting me up in my times of need and helping
me to become a better mother.

By the way, I have a prayer request. There is a little baby, the child of a friend of mine, who is having surgery to put a shunt in her brain tomorrow at noon PST. This little girl has the same kind of seizures (infantile spasms) as Munchkin, but instead of TSC, this little girl has head swelling caused by water on the brain. She’s been in the hospital almost two weeks and last weekend her heart stopped and she’s not woken up since. She’s in the Peds ICU at the local university hospital (one of the best in the country) and being treated by world-class doctors. Please pray for little “E” and her family.

Munchkin and I were expecting a visitor at 10:30 this morning. We were doing really well getting everything ready in time and by 10:15, I was just finishing up the vacuuming. Rachael was playing on the living room floor and watching the vacuum cleaner pass by. I had already decided the kitchen floor could get by with a spot mopping done earlier in the morning and then I was just thinking, “wow! I’m going to get a shower before this person gets here. COOL BEANS!

Then…

I went to move the now-unused water cooler from the carpet to the kitchen floor when it slipped and BOOM!

CRASH!

The water bottle (about 1/4 of the way full so about 1.5 gallons) went spraying everywhere and the pottery cooler part crashed and shattered spilling another 1.5 gallons everywhere missed by the initial spray. GRRRRRR…

I ran to the bathroom and got towels to work on the mess. It wasn’t enough.

THEN THE PHONE RANG. The visitor was on her way. Did I mention it was someone rather important? Not a good friend, but someone that I needed to look reasonably put-together for? Sheesh. Figures.

Turning back to the mess, I piled more towels on it and realized I didn’t have enough. I look at the clock and realized the Man of the House was in the important meeting of the day. Okay, time to call my dad. I’m sure I sounded panicked. He said that I was doing what I was supposed to and to tell the visitor not to sit on the kitchen floor. Gee, thanks Dad.

I glance at the clock and look at my now soaked sweat pants. Too late for a shower. I grab a now bored Munchkin and take her to our room to change her diaper and her clothes and get myself reasonably presentable. No shower, but clean jeans and top do help things a little bit. Rachael looks better in her clean outfit and clean diaper. (Did I mention the Bum Genius 3.0 is a cool cloth diaper? More on that later.)

I take Rachael back out to the living room and sit down to feed her. Then the doorbell rings and our visitor was here… She was pretty cool about the towels on the floor and we had a good meeting.

Next time I’ll just forget the vacuuming and mop the floor properly in the first place.