This is going to be a quick drive-by post because my dishes are calling me, but I have been contemplating a new carrier for awhile. Up until now, my carrier choices have been dictated by Munchkin’s low muscle tone, but now, thanks to NAPA Center and all of Munchkin’s hard work, I’m ready to think about other choices. Also, I have Bubster so I almost always have someone on my back. Bubster would have no problem with a superman or a hook over to get on my back, so I think it’s time to go that route.

Anyway, I’m thinking about trying a Glory Baby Mei Tai! I love the hood and the way she has incorporated it into the design of the mei tai, both functionally and esthetically. The price is good too, especially considering that I was thinking of selling my beco butterfly I and getting the new version because I hate the hood on the old butterfly. For the price of the GBMT, I could keep the beco butterfly I as my spare, but then have the Glory Baby Mei Tai for when the kids are wanting to sleep on my back.

There is more to say, but man, those silly dishes. I’m tempting fate too… the kids are almost done with their nap and we have therapy in an hour.

This post is a bit “out of left field” and not triggered by any particular event in life… I was searching board archives for a different post of mine and I found this one. I wrote it back in May 2007 in response to a question about how to help a friend who has a child in the NICU. I hope this helps someone somewhere. –Ladybug

Here is a link that a fellow NICU mama found. Not everyhting applies, but it does give you a nice window into what is going through your friend’s mind.

First of all, the fact that you truely want to help is help in and of itself. A lot of people “say” they want to help, but chicken out because it’s too hard. Being in the hospital with your own child is hard enough, but you tough it out because it’s your own child. Being in the hospital as a friend when you don’t have to be can be really stressful and it’s hard to watch a baby suffer when you “don’t have to.” I know I felt pretty helpless when Jenna Havig was in the hospital because there was not a whole lot I personally could do other than just support Chautona and the rest of the family.

Now for specific suggestions…

1. Pray for her. She’s a mama-in-name-only right now. She’s probably already learned that consent is really just “please let us do this or else she will die.” On the one hand it’s wonderful that she’s a first time mother because she doesn’t know what she’s missing (I didn’t realize how much I missed with Becca until I had Rachael) but on the other hand, it just plain sucks either way.

2. Ask her what you can do… but come prepared with ideas from this thread to suggest in case she’s too wrought out to think it through.

2. VISIT and CHAT!

3a. You’ll get this from the link I gave, but keep advice to the minimum and pray hard before you give it. Something about being in a hospital makes everyone’s mouth run like you wouldn’t believe. She’s under stress, the last thing she needs is to have to deal with justifying why advice you give won’t work.

3b. But, while you’re keeping your mouth shut on advice, also chat. Tell her about what’s going on in life, ooh and ahh over her baby’s latest tricks (but you might have to look hard because their tricks are so miniscule.) And, if you really think the advice will help, share it sweetly, but tell her to feel free to toss it if it won’t work and then move on to the next topic.

3c. Offer to sit with the little princess while mommy goes to take a shower or get something to eat. Tell her to take her cell phone and promise to call her if anyone on “the list” (specialists) comes by to see her. BUT, don’t be offended if Mama doesn’t take you up on your offer.

3d. This is also on my grief list, but remember there is a difference between condoning sin and having some sympathy. In other words, don’t get on her for being upset at the situation, excuse french words that she might say after a frustrating conversation with hospital staff, and hug her through the tears.

3e. Keep the visits about her. Like I said before, it is really hard being the friend in this situation because you’re helpless. Some hospitals will even make you leave during procedures. You might spend time in the hallway. BUT keep it about her. Lean on your husband during this time. Don’t make your friend carry her grief over the situation and yours too.

3. A DVD player should be fine… don’t forget the headphones. Babies like that often can’t handle a lot of noise. Extra points for getting a membership at a DVD rental place for her and being her delivery service. (I know that blockbuster does a $25/month deal for unlimited rentals, up to 3 at a time.)

4. Find some cool hats, mittens and socks for the little princess. If you’re lucky, the hospital allows little kimono shirts for baby. You’ll find all of this on the baby aisle in Walamrt or Target for about $20 for three days worth. When my Rebecca was in the hospital, clothes was one thing I could control… most of the time. The amount of time I spent planning her outfit combinations was ridiculous and I’d even match my clothes to hers.

5. Play PR rep to the hospital. Bring treats for the nurses, smile at them, say hello, butter them up good. Make sure they know that little baby is special by your actions. Extra points for a plate of homemade cookies or brownies. The grouchy old specialists are especially vulnerable. :p

6. Ask Mama before you touch her baby. Ask her how you should do it. And then, when you get permission, do it with love and all focus on the little one. Talk to her. Tell her how pretty she is. Talk about all the things she’s going to do when she gets home.

7. If you’re close enough friends, give your friend a shoulder rub. Oh yeah, and if she complains about shoulder pain, tell her to try sitting on the other side of the baby’s bed. It will help the crick in her neck.

8. Ditto the other suggestions everyone had.

9. Bring food!

Later in the thread someone asked about why the mama couldn’t hold her baby and I said:

[The baby] has to be stable… and that is defined by the hospital…. and once it is, it is subject to the mood of the nurse on duty. It stinks, but it’s reality.

It’s my guess that if the baby’s pain is beyond pain meds, that it’s going to be a bit before they let Mama hold her.

This is not to single you out because you do bring up a valuable question… however, I am going to say, this is NOT a question to ask the NICU mama. believe me, she has asked many times, and it’s not by any fault of her own that she can’t hold her baby.

This is an amusing clipping that got posted on Hearthkeepers tonight. You can click on the image to make it bigger and easier to read. Enjoy! –Ladybug

Yesterday, I said:

Sometimes I feel like all I do is get her food and drink and clean diapers and then clean up from the above.

Three of the side effects of ACTH is increased appetite, increased thirst and weight gain. So far all of that has been true for Miss Munchkin:

She’s eating three big (for a two year old) meals a day plus two decent size snacks. For comparison, she used to eat two larger than average toddler meals, two good snacks and one small snack.

She’s drinking 3-4 ounces of water every 1-2 hours a day and has gotten up every 1-2 hours the last two nights for 3-4 ounces of water and then goes back to sleep. So in the last 24 hours she’s drunk about 48 ounces of liquids!!!! She used to average about 20-24 ounces.

On Monday (13 days into treatment) she’d gained three pounds… gone from 24 pounds to 26 pounds, 14 ounces. Most of it is water retention caused by the ACTH, but some is probably increased caloric intake, even if she hardly stops moving while awake.

So what does all this mean for Mommy?

I have to plan three meals a day for us, which is not all bad since I need to be eating balanced meals as a pregnant mama. There’s something about having to plan an official lunch every day that’s really throwing me for a loop. (She used to nap from 11-3 so she’d have breakfast, a mid-morning snack, a large afternoon snack, supper, then an evening snack.)

I’m the drink re-filler. I’ve finally gotten smart and started re-filling the cup as soon as it empties so it’s ready for the next time. (This is an especially good idea at midnight!)

I’m changing diapers every 90 minutes during the day. I’m not one of those crazies who thinks you have to change the diaper every time they wet, but I don’t like sopping. So really nothing has changed except for now I *have* to change every 60-90 minutes or else she’s completely soaked through the diaper and drenched her clothes and whatever she was sitting/laying/playing on.

I have to change diapers during the night! I have *never* had to do that with this child in her 21-1/2 months of life even while nursing through the night! Last night when I put her to bed at about 9:30 (we had to pick Hubby up from the airport) she was in a toddler GMD prefold with a night stay dry doubler and a prorap cover. She was soaking through the cover by 2am (after cups of water at bedtime and 11 and 12:30) so I put her in a two GMD brown edges stacked on top of each other with a microfiber insert (from a fuzzi bunz) between the brown edges and the prorap. She was pretty sopping when she got up at 6:30 (no water breaks between 2am and 6:30… yeah for sleep) but fortunately her sleeper was still dry both times!

(For those who think I should do sposie dipe… tried that. She’s through that in even less time!)

I’m changing her outfits several times a day and sometimes at night. She’s just soaking right through them!

I am running at least two laundry loads per day, one of diapers and another of clothes. (I usually do diapers every other day and clothes once a week, with a load of whites and a load of colors on Fridays.)

I am sooooo thankful for my potty pail. Miralax is helping with the constipation side effects but I cannot imagine having to dunk those dipes. Blech. Related to that, I have decided that I need more cloth wipes. I think some of the 24 have disappeared…

So yeah, it’s been interesting.

No, it wasn’t another knife or crockpot, but…

I left deli meat, deli cheese, mustard and mayo last night.

I made sandwiches for a quick late dinner after we got home from The Container Store and The Apple Store and I (thought) I put had put it all away.

I even remember checking…

twice…

But appearently it’s one of those things that you think and are sure you did, only to find out you didn’t.

It was about a pound of meat and close to a pound of tillamook cheddar cheese. At least the meat was getting close to expired and at least I found out BEFORE we got home from church today ready or an “easy lunch.”

Not sure whether I should be laughing or banging my head on the wall!

No, I don’t mean tolerance in the sense that one of the presidential candidates seems to relish using it, but rather as my dear friend, Hindsfeet, has defined it. Check it out!

“Tolerance within a large family…”